


YIN & YANG

by ssasakii



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F slur words, M/M, Prison, Swearing, and also first time with this theme, hints of homophobia, hope you guys like., just in case, reader's discretion is required, this is my first time writing for this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:22:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27573734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssasakii/pseuds/ssasakii
Summary: An overwhelming howl emerged among the clamoring inmates making Monty shiver not because he's scared. He's far from terrified, he's thrilled, especially when he caught fear in his new cellmate's face.
Relationships: Montgomery de la Cruz/Alex Standall, Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	YIN & YANG

# i.

A loud clang followed by the mention of his name, "Mr de la Cruz!" brought Monty to his feet after dozing off for only five minutes - looking over the old clock placed on a rustic desk available in each cell. Worse, their _siesta_ would end in thirty minutes.

_What the hell?_

"Fix yourself, you don't wanna get beaten up by your new cellmate again if you look like that."

_What does this fucking police officer mean by 'like that'?_

Monty mindlessly carded his hand through his hair.

When he noticed the officer wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, gave him the idea that his new cellmate would arrive at this very minute.

And at that very second, his cell was being unlocked. The inmate next to his cell began howling, making weird sounds. He hated that twat. Fucking gave him the creeps, especially during night time when everyone was asleep.

Monty scoffed to himself.

"Heads up, boy!" the officer said when Monty began looking down to his feet and whispered some curses.

As he lifted his chin up, his eyes widened and his muscles turned stiff. _What the hell is he doing here?_

But soon his face turned grim.

The cell doors slid open creating a noise which echoed across the hall, waking everyone who now began to bang against their own jail bars, anything to make some noise. Then an overwhelming howl emerged among the clamoring inmates making Monty shiver not because he's scared. He's far from terrified, he's thrilled, especially when he caught fear in his new cellmate's face.

The police pushed the new guy inside and locked the door behind them.

"Thanks for your service, officers!" Monty called out, grinning; not taking his eyes away from his new roomie?

"Suit yourself," the officer replied as they stomped away.

Monty, at once, gave a gallant bow over his new cellmate.

"Welcome to hell, Alex."

* * *

# ii.

Three days, three nights, the two avoided each other. Treated as if the other didn't exist even if they shared the same bunk at night. Until one day they were assigned to clean a little stockroom inside alone. Two police officers guarding outside the door.

 _'Finally something to do,'_ Monty thought. It's not the time to complain. Maybe he would gladly clean the bathroom if given the chance. That's how boring and maddening staying here; having to be stuck almost a year in jail doing nothing but sleep, eat or read. If there's anything more it's to avoid making any kind of contact, but still ended up getting beaten. Sometimes he felt thankful for his father for all the beatings, considering it as a kind of training. Now any beating felt like nothing to him. It hurts still but not as painful as what his old man did, maybe because his father knew he'd end up in this hellhole one way or another. 

He's the villain after all, in everyone's eyes and also his father's, so it's easy for them to put the blame on him, to pin something which he didn't do. What he did to Tyler was a different story. He'd gladly accept the charges, but killing Bryce? Bryce was his friend. He could never kill him. If it's any consolation, he could never kill anyone. He may have done terrible things before, but taking one's life wasn't one of them, especially now that he's locked up (with this dick). 

_Ain't the time nor the ideal place to do any fucking crimes._

"How's framing me up, huh, Standall?" Monty said, finally breaking the antagonistic silence between them. He'd lie if he'd say he wasn't angry with this jerk.

Alex continued scrubbing the floor acting as if he hadn't heard him. Monty was close to make him look at him when he finally spoke.

"I'm here all right. I'm owning up to them now," Alex grunted as he scrubbed the floor more aggressively.

Monty scoffed. "So, it's on your expense and I should thank you?"

This time, Alex stopped and pulled his body up in a seating position, after standing on all fours for too long. He looked at Monty. "Don't tell me you want an apology."

Monty scoffed and just paced towards the rusty desk filled with junks and decided to sort it. 

Apology was an understatement, he killed his friend and framed him up. But what's the point, they're both in this shit now anyway.

"I think we should just pretend we're okay, and deal with this. I don't think we can ever survive here if we continue going against each other," Alex added.

Stuffing more junks in the garbage bag he's holding, Monty smirked, "On your wildest dreams, Standall."

None of them spoke for a while as they forced themselves to act civil and finish the task given to them.

"I'm sorry," Alex mumbled later.

Monty stopped and stayed still. He didn't know what to say. Now, he's unsure if he ever deserved it. 

He glanced over at Alex, ran his eyes briefly over his body before he sighed and paced towards him, picking the sponge lying around to help him scrub the floor. 

"Don't dare make yourself look weak in front of everyone." He began cleaning. "Act like me. Or even tougher."

"Oh yeah?"

Monty peeked over his shoulder, as if someone might hear them. He went closer to Alex and said in a hushed tone, "I swear, you don't wanna end up being someone's punching bag."

Worry painted over Alex's face. "Did… Did someone beat you up?"

Monty chuckled lightly but it wasn't cheerful. "More than I could ever count… my previous cellmate… fucking sadist." 

He brushed the floor harder as he remembered the numbing pain inflicted upon him. But he always thought maybe it's just fair. He's being punished for the sins he had committed. Turned out his father was right after all, being a faggot was a sin. Being a faggot would send one to hell. No wonder, he turned his life into one and now he's here. It's funny that all his father cared about was the fact that he molested a guy. As if raping a girl would somehow save him from going to hell. At least his son wasn't a fag. 

_No, dad. I did a fucking horrible thing that's why I'm here. And I'm going to drag you down with me._

Anger filled Monty until...

"I'm sorry," Alex mumbled, looking sorrier than ever.

He stopped, looking at Alex. "No."

Alex blinked, confused. 

But Monty looked bothered. "Why?"

"H...Because--"

"No. Why did you suddenly… confess?" 

The last thing Monty needed was anyone's pity, and guilt. Yes, he was mad knowing he's been framed but a part of him says that it's just right and fair, because compared with this twink, he's no better than Alex. Alex shouldn't be here and Monty didn't deserve his kindness nor his apology.

"I couldn't live with it… guilt. Maybe you could… But not me," Alex explained.

Just as he thought. Monty pressed his lips together and nodded. 

However, if he'd be honest, he was glad to have Alex by his side for the very first time. Made him feel a little less lonely. Made him feel like he also deserved some goodness.

_Maybe…_

* * *

# iii.

"Just follow me," Monty whispered behind Alex as they queued up in the canteen along with the other inmates, holding a tray in hand. "And very important rule, don't ever make any eye contact."

Alex just bobbed his head. 

Monty led him to the table he usually sat on, after they, successfully, got some food on their platter. He noticed eyes looking Alex's way. And he felt the need to stay close to him.

They silently ate. Alex went to sit beside him when two buff men sat in front of them, eyeing them both. 

Monty tried to relax. He knew these two fuckers, Tom and Nick. The same fuckers who kicked his guts the first time he got here, calling him a child molester and rapist, as if they weren't one which was obvious by how they looked at Alex like some kind of meat. He knew, even without looking. He could feel it.

"What're ya lookin' at?" One of them said, particularly to Alex.

Monty cursed to himself, and how he wanted to drag Alex away.

"N-no. I'm just… I'm sorry." Alex looked down.

 _Stop looking,_ Monty wanted to say but he stayed silent. He warned Alex, but he wouldn't listen.

"Wanna make it up to us?" Nick said, exchanging glances at Tom.

 _Shit._

"I don't want trouble," Alex mumbled in a shaky voice.

"You won't if you come with us."

Taking a deep breath, Monty interjected. "He's not going anywhere."

" _Heh._ Why?"

"Is he your new victim?"

Then they both laughed.

Monty clenched his jaw and stood up, taking Alex by the wrist and about to drag him away.

"Woah, not so fast. Where are you taking him?" Tom said.

"He owed us something. So let him go... or else."

Both of them stood and blocked their way.

Monty tugged Alex behind him. "Or else… _what?_ " He cocked his chin high, raising his brows, looking straight to their menacing eyes, daringly. 

"I think you know _what?_ " Nick said with gritted teeth. 

"Oh yeah, I know. You're gonna let us through," Monty said.

The two exchanged looks.

"He's funny," Nick smirked.

"But funny won't take you anywhere, _faggot_ ," goaded Tom.

With a snap, everything turned black and the next thing Monty felt was the stinging on his knuckles. As he opened his eyes, he saw the motherfucker's nose bleeding. _Did he do that?_

"Oh, you really want it eh, don't you?" Tom was pissed, ready to pounce on him. And Nick was just waiting for his chance to beat him too.

"I'm sorry, I didn't--" Monty was cut off when something, rather, someone knocked his jaw hard; his bones seemed to break, and he was shoved to the floor. He tried to stand but everything was spinning. He couldn't breath after receiving another blow to his sides; a kick perhaps. 

Soon they were surrounded with people chanting, wanting to see another action. Only Alex was screaming for them to stop.

Monty tried to pull his body up, coughing out blood, but as he was about to make another move, someone kicked his head.

Then blackness.

* * *

# iv.

Monty was ushered back to his cell after staying for two days in the clinic. He thought maybe it's good to get beaten up massively if it meant a time away from this shithole. Even though it meant broken bones.

The dicks who beat him were locked up in the solitary room.

Alex came to his aid as soon as he got in.

Monty did the strangest thing he never thought he would. Smile. But it was a weak smile. His face still swollen, but it didn't sting much anymore.

"Hey," he mumbled, sitting down on the lower bunk; _his_ bunk. He missed the bed back at the clinic already.

"Thank you for saving me," Alex said as he sat beside him. With reluctance, he added, "But you didn't have to do it, y'know. I think I can handle it."

"No," Monty scoffed. "Those dudes won't take no for an answer."

"So, you decided to step in on my behalf? What if it got you killed instead?"

Monty turned to Alex and almost blurted, _since when did you care?_ But he just sighed, looking down on his lap.

"I'm here now," he said, quietly, shrugging. The beatings he experienced here were no worse than his dad's. 

"Why are you doing this, Monty? Why are you being… _suddenly_ kind?" Alex shook his head in doubt.

Monty scoffed. _Kind._ Of all people, he didn't expect to hear it from Alex, especially he's the first one to call him _that._

 _Was he being kind though? Was he doing this for him?_ He didn't know. He wasn't sure.

"I'm not being kind, Alex. I'm just… I just think you don't deserve it."

"And you do?"

"You're welcome, Alex."

A sigh blew past Alex's lips. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just done with people trying to protect me."

"Because you deserve it."

Alex looked at him in quite disbelief. "No, that just makes me look pathetic."

"Okay, what're you gonna do, Alex? Can you beat them up or take their blows, huh?... Just look at me." He looked at him with his still bloodied, bruised up face.

"You asked me why I confessed right? Because I deserved to be here, Monty."

"Okay. So you think this is about who more deserved it. Why can't you just thank my whacked ass for saving you?"

"I am, Monty. I am. That's why I'm feeling bad right now."

"Well, don't be. This is what being in jail is."

Alex stayed silent. Looking so defeated still.

"Anyway," Monty began, after a while. "Nobody ever said that to me before. _Kind…_ Thanks though, for even considering my whooped ass as one."

A chuckle finally escaped Alex which Monty was surprisingly relieved to see.

* * *

# v.

"Is it true about you and Winston?" Alex asked out of the blue as they were laying down idly on their bunk bed. Another boring day.

Monty tensed. "What do you mean?" It's been a week since the incident. His bruises had somehow faded off.

"That you and him hooked up?"

 _Hooked up._ They're more than that.

"He visits me here," Monty muttered. He thought there's no hiding it anymore, what they have, who he is. He's already here paying for it anyway, if that's what concerned his father. 

_Father?_ Never did he pay him any visits. The last time he did, he spat on his face for him admitting his son's a faggot.

"So, he's the one visiting you here and the other day?" Alex asked.

"Yes…" Monty hesitated. "Estela comes too." But mostly, it was Winston who would visit.

"So... you have that _thing_ ," Alex drawled, shifting on the top bunk which created creaking sounds. 

"Why?"

"We…" Alex began but it's taken a while for him to continue until he sighed deeply, "...we used to have a thing before while you're still here."

"What?" was all Monty could utter.

"But we don't anymore," Alex quickly added.

Monty didn't know what to make of that. He'd lie if he'd say it's not hurting him. He'd lie if he'd say he wasn't jealous. But he didn't say anything. He just sighed in resignation knowing he's the one who pushed Winston away those times when Winston confessed how he felt for him. He got scared. Winston was simply too good for him. He didn't deserve him. The last thing he wanted was somebody wasting their time on him, especially on the situation he's in.

Then Winston surprised him a visit after seven months. At first Monty was hesitant to see him but Winston kept coming back. At first, he said he just wanted to check up on him but later revealed that he's still in love with him and wanted him back. 

And seeing him for the first time since, Monty realized he missed him so much.

And that's when Monty finally gave in. No person ever cared to go back for him… not until Winston.

He thought of Winston frequently those seven months, asking himself if he did the right thing of pushing him away. Or he's just being his coward self (again).

People would think he wasn't scared of anything, but the truth was he easily gets scared. He just learned to put up this front so nobody could get in. Built these walls so no one could hurt him. His father had hurt him enough, so he wouldn't let another one that's not his dad to lay another fucking hand on him. 

But there Winston was, breaking all his walls down, opened a new door for him. Showed him something he never thought possible. Made him feel something he never knew he was capable of. Monty cried. Cried secretly in his room for the very first time that night after spending the weekend with Winston right after Homecoming, the same night one of his dearest friends died. Never did anyone make him cry like that. Not even to Bryce's death. Only Winston; the guy who showed him things opposed to what he used to believe in, things he never thought he deserved. He didn't understand back then as to why. But now he did… 

"Do you love him?" 

It took a while for Monty to answer when a police officer appeared outside their cell.

"Mr Standall, you have a visitor," the officer said.

Alex gave one last glance to Monty and bid a nod before he was taken away.

Monty silently watched him leave until he disappeared. 

He muttered, "Yes, I love him."

* * *

# vi.

"Who was it?" Monty asked as he slid on a new orange uniform. Alex was sitting on the lower bunk, staring at his feet, swaying.

"Dad…. just checking up on me."

Just hearing the word brought a pang so overwhelming to Monty, he had to swallow. He hadn't spoken since then.

What's it like to have a father checking up on you? Supporting you even if you fucked up. He didn't have any of that.

They were called to dinner after. No prisoners tried to mess up with them, maybe after the news that Alex's father was a police officer leaked. Instead, some even began talking with them; trying to get acquainted.

Alex, little old Alex, didn't change. Always aloof. But he's opening up to Monty more. Never left his side.

"Aren't you mad at me?" 

Monty almost didn't hear Alex. They're already on their bed, pretending to sleep but they both knew they weren't. Monty couldn't remember the last time he had decent sleep since he got here, so he understood.

"No," Monty said. "Why would I?"

"I… killed your friend."

 _Bryce._ He wouldn't lie, he's still sad over what happened. However, there's a feeling of void next to it. He couldn't describe it, he couldn't even say he missed him. Just… _sadness._

Although, Monty tried to make a joke out of it. "I'm glad you didn't kill me yet."

He heard Alex scoff. Monty could feel him lashing out next but he only blew a sigh.

"I never wished…" Alex broke off. "Am I a murderer?"

Concern rushed through Monty. "No." 

_I might've done more terrible things than you,_ he thought. 

"Sometimes I ask myself if I really killed him. If I intended to push him to the river."

"Alex--"

"Look where I am. I'm a murderer."

_And I'm a rapist._

And there's no excuse for what they had done. 

However...

"I'm sure you'll be free from this hell sooner," Monty said. And he'd be stuck here. All alone again.

"No. I'm a murderer, Monty. I am!... I am!... I… AM!!!" Alex pounded on the bed consecutively, stronger after another, creating loud thudding sounds above Monty's. _He's going mad._

Monty pulled to his feet and rushed up to Alex, grabbing him by the shoulder, and pulled him close to his body. "Hey, man. Hey!... It's okay… sshh… Alex!"

Alex continued punching, on his arm this time, collapsing onto his chest, crying. "I'm a murderer. I killed Bryce. He's dead," he sobbed, muffled. "He's never gonna come back."

It's been a year since Bryce died, and Monty couldn't believe it's still affecting Alex this much. No, he didn't deserve to be here. No murderer would cry like this over their victim.

He tightened his arms around Standall, shushing him comfortingly, telling him it's all right. "We all fucked up in some way or another."

"You know what his mom tells me?" Alex sobbed, looking at him. "I'm a murderer. There's no way I'm getting out of here."

Monty just gazed at him softly; empathetically. "That makes the two of us," he mumbled.

* * *

# vii.

Alex was gone the moment Monty woke up one day. He was gone for almost two hours. The longest yet. He wondered if a boyfriend of his decided to pay him a visit.

He remembered Alex confessed to him that he used to love Zach. If Monty would be honest, he's not surprised. He had seen it. They're always together. 

And maybe Monty already knew what he was long before, hence, he could tell if some guy was attracted to another, like some 'gaydar' or whatever.

If before, he felt this disgust within himself for being a faggot. He didn't anymore. If this was hell as his old man described it, then he'd rather be here, than to deal with his bullshit. And live in a lie. 

Later that afternoon, they're asked to clean the library as Alex's request to his father, he wished to do some jobs with Monty while he serves his time. So from time to time they were given easy tasks which were both favorable for them.

Alex finally began talking to some inmates too, and learned of their stories. Monty felt a strange feeling of relief seeing his comrade finally making friends. As for Monty, he refused to make attachments. He's been through that. Look where it got him.

"Uh… Monty?" Alex quietly called as he was wiping some old books with a used cloth.

Monty was putting books on the shelves. "Yep?"

"I… I don't know how to say this but I'm gonna be leaving in two days."

Monty turned to him. "What?"

"My… bail has been approved."

Monty glanced away, down to the book he's holding, "Oh…" then he slid it to the shelf. "Good for you."

"I refused at first," Alex paused to see his expression but Monty kept on doing his business of cleaning. "But my dad's persistent," he continued.

Monty didn't speak at first. He's hurt when he should be happy. He's hurt not because Alex got bailed and he didn't, he's hurt because as selfish as it may sound, he didn't want him to leave… not yet. He may not admit it but he has learned to like his company. And he wouldn't know how he could survive without him.

"You should take it, Alex," he said in a quite shaky voice. He's not going to cry here. _Damn, he never dreamt of the day he'd grow attached to this moron._

He bobbed his head as if convincing himself. "You should take it. I might do the same thing if I were you," he glanced at him but not long enough. He couldn't look at him without feeling hurt. 

He hated how he still easily cared for people. He always said he wouldn't, but at the end of the day, he did. Always does. 

Bryce? Yes, they didn't end well. But he always thought of him. Now, he's gone. And Alex was going to leave him too soon enough.

"I'll visit," Alex muttered.

Monty turned back to him and forced a smile. "Appreciated."

* * *

# viii.

"Not to be rude, but can we talk about something else?" Monty whined. They're sitting together at the lower bunk, their usual routine. Monty realized he's going to miss this too, their idle chats, more than he thought, and it terrified him somehow.

Alex has been talking about visiting him every chance he could once he was out.

"Okay, but--I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm gonna miss you."

Monty chuckled breathlessly. "Maybe that's just my fucking charm.

Alex punched his arm slightly, and snorted. "That cockiness maybe."

They looked at each other with smiles on their faces but it was sad. 

They used to be friends before, but Monty never knew Alex could be this sweet and kind. Did those horrible things have to happen between them first, just so they could appreciate each other? 

Universe really has a funny way with things, and that's when he felt Alex's lips against his, surprising the both of them.

"I'm sorry," Alex broke away, breathless.

Monty just sat there, immobile, speechless, flustered; his lips, parted. 

_Did he just kiss him?_

He doubted to believe it. _It didn't happen, right?_

Yet here Alex was looking so worried.

"I'm so dumb, I'm sorry," Alex looked away, and about to stand when Monty grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Hey it's... it's okay," he said. And hesitantly looked at Alex. "M-maybe I need it too."

Right after Monty said it, Alex pulled him back, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissed him. 

This time Monty kissed him back, his hands gripping his small waist, stroking it.

They kissed for a while, but they didn't know what this was. And they couldn't stop, didn't know how. Maybe it didn't matter. 

Alex was the first one to break off later just to catch his breath; unable to pull away, unable to speak. 

They hesitated if they should kiss again, but they both knew this shouldn't be happening. Not supposed to be happening. How did they end up being here? 

It took all of Monty to finally lean off, turning his body away.

He thought they just made things more awkward between them.

"Y-You have to go to sleep. You're gonna be leaving tomorrow," Monty dismissed, not looking at him.

Alex brought a hand to his hair, sighing. "Good night," he said, pulling his body up before going to the top bunk.

"Good night," Monty mumbled.

*** * ***

They tried to act like nothing happened last night, pretended they're both okay as they took their last breakfast together. Later, Alex was going to leave.

Only a few words had been exchanged. Then Alex began to say his farewell to the inmates he got acquainted with.

"You take care of yourself all right? Stop beating yourself up," Monty nudged his sides gently.

"You too. Try not to get into any fights. I'll make sure dad looked after you."

Monty thought it's too much but he thanked him.

A police officer stood by their cell, ready to take Alex away.

They shared one final glance. 

"Can I hug you?" Alex said, taking a step forward.

Monty nodded his head, gently opening his arms for him which Alex took at once, burying his face onto his neck.

"I'm really gonna miss you," he whispered. "I also wanted to say that I didn't regret anything about last night." He planted a sweet kiss on his cheeks before letting go, making Monty's heart flutter. It's weird. Strange.

He almost grabbed Alex's hand to stop him from going, but he just helplessly watched him be taken away.

"I'm gonna miss you too," he whispered.

* * *

# ix.

As promised Alex visited him frequently, brought him books and some food sometimes, since it wasn't permissible.

It almost felt like he never left. 

Monty told him about his new cellmate. A little much like him. Although, a little nosy.

"So you missed me," Alex said, smirking.

"Now, don't get too cocky," Monty chuckled. "You're much better. But I won't go comparing you two now."

A broader smile spread across Alex's lips. "Now, I'll take that as a compliment coming from you."

"What does that mean?"

Alex stopped and just stared at him. Monty had seen that look before. It's the same look he has before he kissed him. Something twisted inside his stomach. He avoided his gaze.

"I can't stop thinking about you," Alex muttered.

Monty froze. He, slowly, turned back to Alex. 

"I just wanted to let you know that," Alex said before he could say anything.

But Monty didn't really know what to say. The last thing he expected was for Alex to develop any feelings for him.

Yet here Alex was, saying, "I like you Monty."

Monty chuckled. He hung his head low, shaking his head in disbelief. "Y-You can't be serious, Alex." He ran his tongue to his lips, looking up at him. "I-I mean, you can't… I'm seriously fucked up and…"

"You're not fucked up. You're just lost," Alex argued.

Monty scoffed. 

"I see goodness in you, Monty." 

Now, Monty wanted to laugh. He couldn't believe Alex was saying all these things, especially he never saw himself as a good person. He's far from good. 

"Is it because of the kiss?"

"What?" Alex scoffed. "No. I know you'd ask that but it fucking isn't." Stopping, Alex took a deep breath, looking away. His blue eyes, glistening and a shade of red started to form under it.

"I know- well aware that... you love Winston."

"Alex, you've become important to me too and I don't wanna lose you. Not like this."

"You won't. Don't worry."

Silence surrounded them and Monty hated how it felt like the first time they got together in that cell. Uncomfortable. 

"You love him, right?" Alex asked, later, in a quiet voice, tracing imaginary lines on the metal table between them. "Winston?" he added.

With a nod, and shaky breath, Monty said, "Yes."

He never admitted what he truly felt for Winston to anyone. Not even Winston. But he never knew telling it out loud could be… It felt like something had been lifted off his chest. Everything felt clearer.

"I love him, Alex," he repeated. A smile slowly crept up his lips. Then he looked at him, his eyes reflected the feelings he had yet to admit. And then he saw Alex's expression. How could he be so insensitive? 

"I'm sorry," Monty mumbled. 

_He shouldn't have kissed him back that night. He didn't know what's gotten to him._

Alex smiled. "It's okay… Have you told him?"

This time all the glow left in Monty's face gone. He shook his head. "No…" he swallowed. "I-I don't know if I can."

"Tell him, Monty. Before it's too late," Alex said, more eager to help him. And that's the problem, how could Alex be so good to him still. "Do you know why I tell you how I feel even though I know it's stupid?"

Monty wanted to argue it wasn't stupid. _I'm just an asshole._ He just stared at Alex.

"Because I care about you, Monty. And if you care about him, then you'll let him know."

How Monty wanted to hug Alex right then and there. Yet all he could was nod. "I-I'll try."

"If you don't, then I'll have to tell him myself."

Monty couldn't help but chuckle. And he was glad to see Alex smiling with him.

He's just thankful to have found a friend in Alex.

* * *

# x.

"You look wonderful," Monty said as he marveled over his lover in a tuxedo.

Winston gingerly smiled. "You think so?" He was on his way to the prom and decided to visit him first and foremost. They were given privacy in a room for an hour.

"Yes," Monty reassured.

"I wish you could go with me. I want you there." Winston took both of his hands and brought it to his lips, giving it a meaningful kiss.

And it broke Monty's heart, having failed to do those wonderful things with Winston and instead wasting it here. He could only blame himself as to why he couldn't take him to one of the most memorable high school dances.

"I'm sorry."

"Shush…" Winston pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his neck. "We could dance right here," he whispered to his lips.

Monty smiled. "Okay, let's do that."

Winston leaned away, and Monty positioned himself, holding out his hand to him. "Would you dance with me?"

With a beaming smile, Winston took his hand. "Love to."

Monty, then, pulled him close back to him, his other hand rested on his waist, while Winston placed his on his shoulder. 

Slowly, they swayed to the imaginary music, staring at each other. Cherishing the moment while it lasted.

They didn't know how long they were dancing; circling around the room. But Monty had been building up the courage to tell him those three crucial words that could change everything.

However, everytime he parted his lips, he couldn't find his voice, couldn't form the words, so he reached for his lips instead, kissing him like there's no tomorrow when he felt something salty. Breaking away, he realized it was his own tears.

Winston looked worried. "Monty--" 

"I love you," Monty breathed out the words against his racing heart, meeting Winston's gaze. "I meant it. I love you, Winston."

He had never loved anyone like this before. It's simply profound and beautiful. He never felt so thankful to have him in his life. If his father thought being gay was a sin, then why did the Heavens blessed him with someone so good named Winston, who felt like salvation.

Tears uncontrollably poured from Winston's eyes and he locked Monty to a tight embrace. 

"I love you too."

"We'll be together soon. I'll try to make things right."

Winston nodded, burying his face to his neck. "You're more than enough for me, Monty."

And for one last time, like a sweet tune in his tongue, Monty repeated the words, "I love you."

Being locked behind bars seemed like the worst place one could go, but for Monty it was the place where he met his real friends. Two people who knew and learned of who he was and still chose to stay. Two people who taught him how to love and taught him that it's okay to be vulnerable. 

Being in jail had changed him. Turned him to the person he meant to be. Not the fucked up kind, but the better kind. Taught him to forgive not just others but himself, taught him to repent. Taught him to be brave. It's also where he learned more about who he was, and most importantly, taught him to accept himself fully.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So this idea came in randomly after thinking as I was on my way to work, staring outside the car window, "What if Alex had been gone to jail with Monty? Perhaps, they'd kill each other." It meant to be some kind of a really lame joke. lmaooo. And then I was like "Why don't I write it?" 
> 
> So there it is.
> 
> your good feedbacks/comments are greatly appreciated, and lastly, thanks in advance for leaving 'kudos!'


End file.
